Please Don't Say It's Just a Phase

I don’t know about you, but second to commenting on my appearanceduring pregnancy, nothing quite makes me squirm with annoyance quite like beingtold “It’s just a phase.”  Those fourwords mean you’re not getting any sympathy from anyone who has already beenthrough it. It’s code for “You’ve just got to tough it out. Sucker.” And theperson who tells you “it’s just a phase” is most certainly smiling on theinside knowing they wouldn’t want to relive that “phase” EVER AGAIN.

So what phases make you want to exclaim – You whine. I wine.

Here are some of my least favorite phases.

My kid hated diaper changes, too, but they grow out of it. It's just a phase.

Perhaps one of the most frustrating and disgusting phases. Nothingcompares to smelling that unmistakable smell of your kid having pooped. Yousmell it. God forbid you hear it happen. And you quickly think to yourself “didI change the last dump? If so, I’m definitely not changing this one.” But astoo often happens, with no else around, you sigh heavily (taking in deepbreaths while you still can) and head towards your toddler. As soon as you movetowards your child, he or she recoils as if to convey their deepest desire to keep the poop right where it is. In thesteaming diaper. WTF?! you think to yourself. This kid has got to be kidding.But no, not kidding. Not even close to kidding. And that’s usually right whenthe little monster sits down and you just think ‘super. Sit in it. That’sgreat.’  And you know, since there’s noway for a single wipe to come out of a dispenser at a time, that this diaperchange will definitely take a dozen wipes, and tears, and you may even need todouble bag it.  And with all thosethoughts in your mind, you just decide it’s time. You’ve stared at your childwith total disgust for long enough. And the fear that it will not remaincontained in the diaper for much longer is too much to handle.

 This whole “phase” gives newmeaning to the phrase Oh Shit. And let me tell you this, if we don’t get out ofthis “let me sit in my wet diaper; let me play in my poop” phase…. Well, someserious shit is going to go down. (whatever that means)

Oh, those terrible twos. It's just a phase.

WHAT?!!!! It's not a phase. It's an entire year of my life that I must livewith a two foot tall terrorist. ‘nuff said.

Yeah, sometimes kids experience sleep regression. It's just a phase.

Um, hell no!  He doesn't sleep, Idon't sleep. I don't sleep, husband doesn't sleep. And with no one sleeping, myhusband and I are definitely turning on each other as our wills get crushedeach night.

This isn't a phase, it's a form of torture. Just ask my husband howmany times he heard THAT phrase when we had a newborn. “Honey, it’s not justthat I’m tired. I’m tired in the way that sleep deprivation was used as torturein times of war.” Yes, I pulled the torture and war card. It seemed appropriateand accurate at the time.

Sometimes kids start to hate foods they used to love. It's just aphase.

Sure, says the person who isn't in a death match stare down with their childwho is looking at you like you’re crazy for even suggesting that he eat rice.Or chicken. Or applesauce. How dare you serve those awful foods.  Um….you loved them YESTERDAY! Seriously. Howdoes it happen so fast? Now I know where the love/hate thing comes from.Toddlers. They love it. They hate it. End of story.

And don’t even get me started on hunger strikes. Seriously. How dothese little people know about strikes?! Is eating too much to ask?

I’m aware that these are just a sampling of the many, many, many, manyphases that we go through with our babies and toddlers. If you’re up forsharing your best and worst, please do. I can tell you. It feels really good toget this off my chest. So now it’s your turn!