How I Beat Muffin Top

Today, I beat my "muffin top" because today, I wore maternity pants to work.

Let me tell you how this very unattractive story unfolded in my house this morning.

I woke up and felt huge. Like I had eaten a sheet cake in my sleep and surely, none of my regular clothes would fit.  How is it that for no reason at all, I just woke up and felt bloated and big and like my body had changed overnight? [I acknowledge that this is all a bit cray cray (as in crazy) but it's just an honest account of my morning].

So, as any irrational woman may have done, I planned my outfit around tights (not just because it's 15 degrees outside today), but because I can pull the tights up to my bra for a very slimming effect.  (I doubt there are any men reading this blog post, so ladies, it's a safe place here to rejoice in the "up to the bra" move). By pulling my tights up to my bra, I can escape the snug fit of pants and skirts around my waist and with tights pulled up high, there is no muffin top to be found.

So there I am. I did it. Tights and bra. That's the outfit. 

As I stand in front of my mirror and take in the horror show that is my appearance, I realize I just can't possibly go out dressed like this today. Of course, I would have put clothes over top the tights and actually put on make-up and brushed my hair. But that intial sight was too powerful to overcome.

On to my next move.

As I looked at my clothes hanging in front of me, I reached for my favorite black pants. They don't always give muffin top because they have a bit of stretch, so I figured that was the next best thing. But then, to my absolute delight, I noticed that hanging next to them -- hiding underneath another pair of pants  -- were my black stretchy maternity pants. JACKPOT!!! You would have thought that I found Ryan Gosling hiding in my closet. That was the level of my delight.  But no, it was just the most comfortable pair of pants I have ever owned. 

I slipped them on and wouldn't you know it....I felt skinny. Nevermind that these pants fit when I had gained 40 pounds and had a human inside my stomach.  It didn't matter. I felt skinny. With that boost of manufactured confidence, I put on a cute top, make-up, jewelry and heels, and off I went!

Not long after I arrived at work, I was in the hallway chatting with a few friends. Another girl we work with walks by and comments "I love those black pants!"

My stomach drops.

I am reminded in that moment, that my outfit was not made for the destination of work. I am in fact, Destination Maternity. And although I then need to accept that I am wearing maternity pants when I'm most certainly not pregnant, I find a bit of joy in the fact that I'm not also wearing maternity underwear. Nor do I have a muffin top today.

Small victories. I will most certainly take the small victories.