My Housekeeper Thinks I'm Dirty

Do you have ever that fear? I'm not even sure why or how it's come to be a fear of mine, but it has. I know in my job I love to feel needed. So why wouldn't my housekeeper want to also feel needed? Maybe she does, but I'm not giving her a chance. I don't want her to feel needed because my house is so dirty.

So there you have it. I clean before the housekeeper comes. And now that I think about it, she probably thinks I'm the type of person who throws money away because when she comes over, the house is already clean. So there's my conundrum. Be judged for being dirty or judged for being frivolous with money. I'll take the latter.

I was thinking about this while applying make-up in the car as I drove my son to see his pediatrician (only at red lights, so it was safe). I hadn't slept in days because Reece had been sick, but surely if I was wearing make-up the doctor would take one look at me and think, "Wow. She's totally got this under control. What a great mom." Um, yeah. Pretty sure my make-up job did not convey that message.

After leaving my son's appointment, I began to think about the other absurd behaviors of mine that fall into the same category of cleaning for the cleaner and beautifying for my son's doctor. I was both surprised and alarmed by what I came up with.

I brush my teeth and floss right before I go to the dentist. As if to say, "I don't know why you think I have plaque. Obviously you can tell I'm diligent about brushing and flossing." It's like running your toothbrush under the faucet when you're younger and don't want to brush. You figure you can trick your parents with a wet toothbrush. Your awful, halitosis like breath surely won't give you away.

And before getting a physical or going to any appointment where I know I will be asked to step on a scale, I diet for a few days. Yes. As if that will have a huge impact on my overall health. I basically cram for the exam. I'm so crazy.

But it doesn't stop there. The list continues....

If I am ever getting a manicure or pedicure, I always remove old nail polish and make sure my nails look ok. I don't want the person to think that I'm just a mess with mangled nails. Though, instead, the person is probably thinking, "I can't believe she can't paint her own nails." For some reason, that judgement I'm ok with.

And I most certainly style my hair before going to the hairdresser. Because again, I don't want the hairdresser to think that I just wear it in a ponytail most of the time - heaven forbid (insert visual of me ALWAYS in a pony).

 

So what is it that compels me to behave in such a way as this? Naturally, the judgement of others and the desire to appear like I have it together, even when I most certainly do not. Yet what has me stumped is when I told my husband about this piece, he replied "How do you explain all the days you leave the house in sweats without make-up? Why don't you care what you look like on those days?" I paused and gave it a moments thought and replied as any good wife would. "Because you're stuck with me, so I don't need to look nice for you."

 

And scene.