Little Liar

I've refrained from pluralizing liar out of respect for the parents out there who have children who don't lie. Dare I make the blanket statement that all two year olds are liars. But below are some of the best I've heard.

Q) "Reece, did you poop?" 
A) "No."
Lie. My question was rhetorical. I asked as a courtesy. A courtesy he didn't extend before taking a stinky dump and walking around like nothing happened."

Q) "Reece, did you have fun today?"
A) "No."
Lie. He watched TV, ate, played, ate, napped, ate, played, ate. That routine makes everyone happy.

Q) "Reece, do you want pizza for dinner?"
A)  "Yes."
Lie. He asked "where's hot dog?" when the pizza hit his plate.

Q) "Reece, do you want a brother or sister?"
A) "Sister."
Lie. When asked in reverse order, he says brother.

Q) "Reece, are you tired?"
A) "No."
Lie. See photo. While laying on the kitchen floor about to fall asleep, he was still adamant about not being tired.

Q) "Did you take his/her toy?"
A) "No."
Lie. Child left sans-toy is in screaming fit of rage over Reece, the toy-snatcher.

Q) "Did you just pour your drink all over the floor?"
A) "No."
Lie. Sorry dude, but you don't have any siblings you can pin this one on. It was all you.

Q) "Did you color the sofa with your crayons?"
A) "No."
Lie. See above.

Q) "Why are you wet? Were you just playing in the toilet?"
A) "No."
Lie. Evidence in the form of toy monster truck found in bottom of toilet bowl.

Q) "Did you feed the dog your snack?"
A) "No."
Lie. Dog just puked it up.