If We Took Our Own Advice

Have you ever thought about the lessons we teach our kids, but that we ourselves don't obeyed by?

As my son hits the age when parenting evolves from just the responsibility of keeping a person alive to teaching them to be a good person, there are a lot of reflective moments. If, of course, you're willing to stop and reflect. Candidly, it wasn't until recently - when I was doling some advice out to my son that I myself actually needed - that I realized I don't heed my own advice. 

And with that, I naturally begin with, "Always stop and smell the roses." It's in Reece's baby book. The day I first said this and did this with him. One of the most cliche sayings of all time, and yet one of life's great lessons. Stop. Look around. Take in the beauty of life. Why and how did life become so busy and so important that we overlook the most simple and beautiful things? And if you won't take it from me, the modernized version of this lesson is perfectly said by our dear Ferris Bueller. "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

"Love the skin you're in." God, wouldn't it be great if we all were able to do just that? To a child, it is that simple. "Mommy said I should love myself, so I do." To my children, it's that simple. It's us adults who mess it up. It's us who tell our children one thing and promote, advertise, buy, sell, perpetuate a different standard. Why?! Wouldn't it be great if we too just loved ourselves? And one of the great gifts of having a young child is that appearance is completely irrelevant. You child doesn't care if you had your hair and make-up professionally done or if you're at the playground in your pajamas. #heaven. #dovecampaign

"Just worry about yourself. Don't worry about what your friends are doing." I cringed every time my parents said this to me and when I say this to my kids I will absolutely be thinking "So now I've officially turned into my mother." (no offense mom. I love you dearly). But how in the world do you worry only about yourself when it's the comparison of you to others that creates all the social hierarchies that start in school and follow you into adulthood? I thank my lucky stars that social media did NOT exist when I was in school. #gladtobeold

There are a countless articles about how we should talk to our daughters about their bodies. Thank goodness for those penned pieces as I will be reading all of them when the time comes. I just wish I could freeze this age - for the parents out there you know what I'm talking about. The age when after your child eats or drinks their belly is distended and sticks out as if they have a beer gut. They care nothing about it and as a parent you're proud because you did your job. You provided what filled their belly. 

And the ultimate rule of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Well I think we can thank social media for crushing any hopes of this lesson being one that stays with our kids past the age of 10. But wouldn't it be great if it were that easy? There wouldn't be cliques, bullying, etc. Mean Girls would just be Lindsay Lohan's last big hit, not an actual description of middle and high school girls.

I suppose the biggest challenge of all is that for every person who provides advice about what to say, there's an "expert" with an opposite point of view. So where does that leave us? Where I stand, it leaves me hoping and praying that I have enough self awareness and humility to admit to the many ways I want my kids to be better than me.

Insert enormous sigh as I have reminded myself of the enormity of the role of parent.