Rainy days like today, when the cabin fever induced screams of my children are as overwhelming as complete silence in the playroom, I can't help but to think back to a time when I didn't have children.
In a land far, far, far, far, very far away, I lived with my husband in D.C. We had the right amount of space for the two of us and all of our belongings were contained in closets and on shelves. There weren't any bins or baskets littered throughout the house, overflowing with randomness. On rainy days like today, we would easily sleep in as the sun wouldn't be creeping through the blinds. After a cup or two of coffee, we would make breakfast and read the paper and then spend a lot of time contemplating what movie we would see and at what time. Oh the horrors and stress of those conversations. Do we go to a matinee followed by lunch? No, because we would be full from popcorn and candy. Yes, we definitely didn't want a movie time that would alter our three daily meals or desire to gorge on popcorn and Sno-Caps. But if we were going to Georgetown, the theater would be so crowded and parking would be such a hassle. We would interrupt our movie making plans to make dinner reservations as we wouldn't want to miss a night out. After quickly reaching out to friends - all of whom could make plans at a whim because none of us had kids - we would then work backwards from dinner to lunch to decide on a movie and time. Yes, this was a typical rainy day before kids and the movie conversation felt stressful.
Having just spent two hours at an indoor bouncy house facility that smelled like feet, I can't help but daydream of life before kids and the things I used to do. I'm not sure about you, but here are some things I imagine being able to do again, albeit that with three children under the age of five, it feels like these things will only happen in a land far, far away.
One day I will again be able to buy magazines at the airport - LOTS of them - and read them at my leisure on the plane.
One day I will be able to sit in a lounge chair poolside and close my eyes. For now, I just stand poolside and barely allow myself to blink for fear of kids around water.
One day I will go on a beach vacation and layout on a blanket. Oh the thrill of laying down by myself on a blanket that's not covered in sand from little feet running across it as if it weren't there at all.
One day I will take a long, lingering shower because I won't fear a child sticking his or her head behind the curtain to play peekaboo.
One day I won't have to announce my every move - like that "mommy needs to go to the potty" - and I'll just be able to go.
One day I won't say the word potty.
One day the only ass I will wipe is my own.
One day I will be able to select 'shuffle' on my iTunes and not have every other song be children's music.
One day I won't need a minivan.
One day I will be able to easily pull into my garage and not have to rearrange strollers, bikes and randomness in order to make room for my car.
One day I will be able to open all of the drawers and cabinets in my house without undoing child safety locks.
One day I will be able to fill a vase with flowers and not worry that it will get broken or that someone will eat the flowers.
One day I will be able to eat without being asked what I'm eating and why.
One day I am sure I will look back and miss all of the above. Or at least some of the above. Or maybe one of the above. Or, maybe not.
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