the fun's just begun.
We've learned you sell bikinis for toddlers,
and don't feed carbs to your daughter and son.
Momma Alba we applaud that sick bod of yours.
But two corsets for weeks?
Your weight loss approach is absurd.
Then there's dear Kim.
Oh Kim, bless her heart.
She's about to have a baby
while the world watches her fall apart.
Ms. Jessica Simpson,
you've fooled us all.
We thought you were an idiot,
but you're in a financial windfall.
Denise Richards, you're another,
we once thought borderline crazy.
But now we see the light.
Charlie Sheen has even given you all his babies.
Britney, you're another
who turned things around.
We thought you bottomed out
and wouldn't get up off the ground.
Gisele, Oh Gisele,
a supermodel you certainly are.
But skip the string bikini mere weeks post-birth.
Honestly, it's just bizarre.
Katie Holmes, you did it.
We are a huge fan.
You made a choice for you and your daughter.
Against a powerhouse, you took a stand.
Reese, have a drink.
Hey, have another.
Don't feel bad for letting loose,
just make sure your driver is sober.
Tori Spelling, please stop.
Four babies is enough.
We can't look at you in those skimpy bathing suits while prego.
Enough is enough.
Jen Garner, you're amazing.
Solid mom - it's an easy call.
A sexy husband, three children,
and a head on your shoulders above all.
Beyonce, you're the queen.
You embody total class.
You balance privacy with enigma.
And you're all around bad ass.
I know it's not nice to judge other mothers,
so consider these just my observations about others.
We all do our best,
and try with all our might.
We hope we just don't screw up
and maybe - just maybe - once get it right.
